Saturday, March 19, 2011

I did it

Well I did it. With a little friendly encouragement I listed my cuffs on etsy. I spent a beautiful day yesterday making a few more. I was inspired yesterday, inspired to just go for it. I have spent so much time waiting for the right time to do things. I am not going to do that anymore. I have so many projects that I keep saying I am going to do. Well spring watch out, I am ready to just tackle them all. Here is a link to my bracelets

Here is some eye candy that has put me in the spring cleaning mood

I love the pop of turquoise color.

February 2011

This magazine has me drooling and dreaming.

There is something about birds chirping and they are out in full force today. The hot air balloons are out in the wine country today and I can see them right out my window. A big splash of color against an ominous looking sky. I should not tell you the sad story of me sipping my coffee with the birds in full song this morning. I hear my cat scratching to come in. I go to the door to see one of those sweet little birds dangling from her mouth. Sigh.... one less little songbird in Temecula.

Happy weekend.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

a new day

It's a new day today. A beautiful day here in So Cal. All my family from out of town has left and this is my first day alone (well almost have daughter home today). It is so weird, when you lose someone you love whom you are so close too. Do you just start another day. Do you do laundry, and check emails and do the things you did before? I spent a few hours with my Aunt yesterday. All her company had gone home also and I knew yesterday would be the first day truly alone in her home. We talked, laughed and cried a lot. Talked about her new normal and what that would look like. The phone rang and my cousin answered, every time it rings you sort of hold your breath and hope that no one asks for "him". Well sure enough they did, Round table pizza calling wanting to ask my uncle a few question's for a survey. I had to listen to his daughter tell them, no he was not available to answer them at this time. She hung up. It pissed me off. Is this what the next few months and maybe years look like. Someone calling asking for him and reliving those emotions over and over again.

He worked for himself and built beautiful cabinets and custom wood work. He was busy. A truck pulled up to drop off the cabinets that he ordered. Had to tell them this was not a good time. His work phone keeps ringing answering and retelling the story over and over. Waiting for customers to show up to pick up cabinets and things that he had in his shop. Over and over those little things get ya.

The service was at my house on Sunday and I am going to clean up all the little things left over today. Is that what you do, just pick up and keep going. Mop the floor, vacuum etc. I am going to turn on some worship music and set my heart before the Lord and then keep going. That is what you are supposed to do right?

I did make something beautiful today and I am going to make another it just makes my heart feel good.

What makes your heart feel good?

Friday, March 11, 2011

funny thing about grief

Exactly one week ago today I received devastating news that my Uncle went to sleep and never woke up. He was 54. He was a huge presence in our family. We were very close to him and did everything together. He lived up the street and we saw him all the time. And for that I am grateful.

Grief is a funny thing. It feels like everything should stop moving but it does not. Driving home from his house last Friday people were out walking their dogs and jogging and I kept thinking. What are you doing, don't you know what just happened. You need to stop. You need to just stop moving and be still. Life just does not work that way does it? Grief has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. I called Starbucks to see how much their coffee service would be for the funeral. The sweet barista named Jamie said they would donate it for his service. Tears, uncontrollable tears at the generosity of that little gift. Sorry Jamie, not sure you were prepared for my moment of uncontrolled emotion. Each time the door rings and another bouquet or plant is delivered to my aunt the waves of emotions come rolling out. Those little gifts mean so much. The food, women love to bring food. How you are loved for those sweet gestures.

Grief like I said it is a funny thing. For me I need to create something and I am almost overwhelmed with a desire to make something with my hands. My girlfriend sent me a beautiful email with some inspiration on it and I knew I had to make something with it so in my mad state of grief this is what I did. And you know what it felt really good

Trusting God is where I am at today. Just trusting in Him. So in my crazy state of creating I could not stop my back was aching from bending over but I just had to make these too.

Each one of these cuffs was my cry out to the Lord. Truly what was on my heart when grief had wrapped itself around every part of it. Art and creating is such a powerful healing tool. I am going to create some more today. Just need to keep my hands busy and let my tears flow.

I will be putting these in my etsy shop. I think? Not sure what else to do with them all.