Thursday, March 17, 2011

a new day

It's a new day today. A beautiful day here in So Cal. All my family from out of town has left and this is my first day alone (well almost have daughter home today). It is so weird, when you lose someone you love whom you are so close too. Do you just start another day. Do you do laundry, and check emails and do the things you did before? I spent a few hours with my Aunt yesterday. All her company had gone home also and I knew yesterday would be the first day truly alone in her home. We talked, laughed and cried a lot. Talked about her new normal and what that would look like. The phone rang and my cousin answered, every time it rings you sort of hold your breath and hope that no one asks for "him". Well sure enough they did, Round table pizza calling wanting to ask my uncle a few question's for a survey. I had to listen to his daughter tell them, no he was not available to answer them at this time. She hung up. It pissed me off. Is this what the next few months and maybe years look like. Someone calling asking for him and reliving those emotions over and over again.

He worked for himself and built beautiful cabinets and custom wood work. He was busy. A truck pulled up to drop off the cabinets that he ordered. Had to tell them this was not a good time. His work phone keeps ringing answering and retelling the story over and over. Waiting for customers to show up to pick up cabinets and things that he had in his shop. Over and over those little things get ya.

The service was at my house on Sunday and I am going to clean up all the little things left over today. Is that what you do, just pick up and keep going. Mop the floor, vacuum etc. I am going to turn on some worship music and set my heart before the Lord and then keep going. That is what you are supposed to do right?

I did make something beautiful today and I am going to make another it just makes my heart feel good.

What makes your heart feel good?

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