Friday, March 11, 2011

funny thing about grief

Exactly one week ago today I received devastating news that my Uncle went to sleep and never woke up. He was 54. He was a huge presence in our family. We were very close to him and did everything together. He lived up the street and we saw him all the time. And for that I am grateful.

Grief is a funny thing. It feels like everything should stop moving but it does not. Driving home from his house last Friday people were out walking their dogs and jogging and I kept thinking. What are you doing, don't you know what just happened. You need to stop. You need to just stop moving and be still. Life just does not work that way does it? Grief has a funny way of sneaking up on you when you least expect it. I called Starbucks to see how much their coffee service would be for the funeral. The sweet barista named Jamie said they would donate it for his service. Tears, uncontrollable tears at the generosity of that little gift. Sorry Jamie, not sure you were prepared for my moment of uncontrolled emotion. Each time the door rings and another bouquet or plant is delivered to my aunt the waves of emotions come rolling out. Those little gifts mean so much. The food, women love to bring food. How you are loved for those sweet gestures.

Grief like I said it is a funny thing. For me I need to create something and I am almost overwhelmed with a desire to make something with my hands. My girlfriend sent me a beautiful email with some inspiration on it and I knew I had to make something with it so in my mad state of grief this is what I did. And you know what it felt really good

Trusting God is where I am at today. Just trusting in Him. So in my crazy state of creating I could not stop my back was aching from bending over but I just had to make these too.

Each one of these cuffs was my cry out to the Lord. Truly what was on my heart when grief had wrapped itself around every part of it. Art and creating is such a powerful healing tool. I am going to create some more today. Just need to keep my hands busy and let my tears flow.

I will be putting these in my etsy shop. I think? Not sure what else to do with them all.


Lou Cinda @ Tattered Hydrangeas said...

I remember feeling the same way when my father died....I left the hospital with a broken, broken heart....and the sun was out and the birds were singing and people were doing their everyday things....and I just couldn't believe that everything didn't just stop!!

Keeping you in my prayers as you navigate through this process....I am so sorry for your loss...

Lou Cinda

Amber said...

Oh Jenn,
My condolences. Your art is beautiful and yes, you should put them on your etsy!
Sometimes words cannot fix pain so I'm just sending you a very big warm hug and a shoulder.
xo, Amber